Thursday, January 12, 2006

Pretty vs. Sweet, The Philosophy Behind The Face

Every pretty man I've ever spoken to resents the fact that I call them pretty. What is wrong with that? Here are the statements and descriptions.
Daizha: Daizha and I have been tight for three days past forever. He hates it with a passion when I call him a pretty nigga, but he is. I call him my cousin. I keep him close because despite the pretty face, he can do things with his fists that I have never seen. He's taken nigga-I-will-whip-your-ass to a whole new level.
Anyway, he's got the softest, smoothest brown skin and get this - green eyes. Not light green, not hazel, but green, like just polished jade. I don't know how he got them, but he did. I based on the eyes alone. He was pissed because that character is female, but she's a bad ass so that more than makes up for it.
I asked him what the problem was?
"Pretty niggas is sweet," he replied.
"How do you figure that?"
"Sweet is homo. I ain't no f*ckin homo, son."
Truth be told, he is neither sweet nor homo. He's fine as hell and girls, if you ever see him, you'll know who he is.
Deion: Deion plays football right now, he's in Florida somwehere, last I checked. He also falls under the pretty category. Smooth skin, big eyes, soft, reassuring smile. He's pretty. And he hates it.

"You know how gay that sh*t is?"
Once again! With the gay reference!
Nikki: Nikki was cursed with the face of an angel and the name of a chick. Yes, his mother named him Nichole. I didn't believe him until I saw a copy of his birth certificate. He's proud of his name and dares anyone to have anything to say about it. He hates it when I call him pretty. He can't do anything about it. I happen to think he's gorgeous.
"You think you real funny with that pretty sh*t, right? Aight, I got somethin for your ass."
Batman: Bats is yet another man with exceptionally fair features. Brown skinned, straight pointed nose, big lips (girls, you know the kind I'm referring to) high cheekbones and a slender face. Now I told him he was pretty during our latest installment of After Hours Talk. He was too mad. "I ain't pretty!" Yes baby, you are.
Now there are folks who look soft to the point of sacrificing their manhood. They are as follows:
David Gest
Mr. Star Jones-Reynolds
Terry McMilian's ex hubby
Elijah Wood
Toby MacGuire
Ray J
Marques Houston
Any and everyone ever associated with B2K
Michael Chiarello (if you don't know him, you are not part of my circle. Get down with Food Newtwork and hit me back.)
and I'm sure the list goes on and on. If anyone ever tells you you look like any of the aforementioned dudes, you have my permission to proceed with whipping their asses.
I think it all has to do with ones security. For example, they've been calling Nikki pretty his whole life. Now this one dude called him a pretty ass bitch and got his face broken. There's a limit to how much teasing one is willing to take on account of their appearance. Being secure in your sexuality is a major deal for most of the men I know. If they even think something is going on that makes them look bad, they jump up and say "no homo" before they get classed as gay.
The point is, just because you are a man blessed with a softer look than other, does not mean you are in anyway sweet, gay, pink, homo, a fag, rainbow, or any other synonym for homosexual. It just means that you are blessed with a soft face. It does not take away from your masculinity at all. Why? I can call any one of the above mentioned men and they will whip any ass I ask them to, no question.
And they'll look good doing it.


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