Sunday, June 18, 2006

Miscellaneous Thoughts, Early Morning Celebrity Edition 3

Now that Jacob the Jeweler has been outed, can any of us say we were really surprised? I mean come on, his number one clients are "ex" hustlers. When you make close personal friends with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and Lil Kim, there is definitely more going on than just diamond setting. And it was always my dream to get some Jacob ice... Damn.

Does Britney Spears' second pregancy count as cruel and unusual punishment for the rest of us? Do the words "unfit parent" mean anything to you? If she keeps going like this, she'll be tied with Kelly Ripa for most pregnancies in a single year. Poor you, Kevin. That money can't go to your "Keep Me A Wannabe Nigga" fund. I see even more Similac and Huggies in your future, pal...

So Mo'Nique confessed to us that she and her new husband have an open marriage. Is she afraid that that's the only way a man will love her, is if she lets him sleep with other women? I'm sure this method would have worked for Halle Berry but Mo, I thought you had way more respect for yourself, sis.

The Barely Entertaining Television Awards are going to be three hours long agan this year. Guess who's opening? You got it, Beyonce. As if we're not tired of seeing her by now. No, of course not. We can handle yet another over weaved, over dyed, ovverrated dose of Ms. B. Like the new song, though. Looks like te only reason tow atch (as usual) is going to be the host.

Nick Cannon is worried about his alleged sex tape getting out. What for? Methinks thou should be more worried about your album getting out, buddy.

Jay-Z banned Cristal form his club after a few offensive statements were made regarding the frivolous mentions of the popular liquor in various hip hop songs. Good for you, Hov. (Let me clarify, if you did hear the statements, they were not amde by the company owner. They were made by a reporter and incorrectly tributed to him.) But honestly, does it matter? Champagne is for people who can't handle real liquor anyway. Ovverrated and insanely expensive ginger ale. Now if he banned Johnnie W., we might have us a problem Jigga. And shouldn't he be busy endorsing Armandale anyway?

Now I'm pissed that I'm missing the second season of Run's House, so could somebody Fill Me In (sings like Craig David) please? All I know is that Justine is pregnant (as if they are trying to make an expansion team or something because there is already like 50eleven of them niggas) and they are writing that into the show.

Josh Lucas (who you may rememeber from the recent bad remake of The Poseidon Adventure) is tired of being single. Well maybe you want to do something about that face, bro. He claims Hollywood is the reason behind his loneliness and that he is so busy making movies that he can't settle down. Nigga, do you even have an IMDB page? As I recall, you don't have to take the roles, dumb dumb.

If you know me at all, you know I love Sandra Bullock. But THIS is taking it too far. WHy in Satan's red hell do people wait so long? Are you trying to let death raise your children? WTF? There was nothing wrong with your ovaries ten years ago when normal humans usually have kids. Oh wait, I forgot... White folks have that "enjoy life" thing. They wait until they become nonagenarians before they enjoy parenthood. By the time their kids make it to twenty-five, they're dead. I wish I would call myself getting pregnant at 40.

Is anyone elese going to see Waist Deep solely for Tyrese? I thought so. That Meagen Good never quite did it for me. She is very attractive, to be sure. But the acting skills... She's the same in every movie I've ever seen her in. (These by the way: Biker Boyz, You Got Served, yes I did go see that sh*t, and Roll Bounce.) I hope this is her breakout role or something because she needs a hit and bad.

Who the f*ck is Gucci Mane?

Funniest Blog of the Moment: Nah Right

I'll be back in a lil bit, goin to chill wit my shorty for a lil minute today. See ya'll when I see and don't do nothin I wouldn't do, aight? Stay up.


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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take and may this song play all the way, through. And if it skip a beat, hit repeat, this the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. If it skip a beat, hit repeat, This the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. -Juelz Sanatana, This Is Me, What The Game's Been Missing