Monday, January 02, 2006

Heard It All Before...

I have never heard anyone get down so hard on the side of a cheater as I did today. I was on another board I frequent and one of the posters said they would forgive a cheater and take responsibility for the fact that they could have contributed.
I almost fell out and died.
Take responsibility? I patiently posted and asked for said person to explain exactly what they meant. There is no way you can justify cheating. You can sympathize maybe. But justify? Hell no. I would love to get into the mind of a cheater so I could begin to comprehend just what goes on in there.
I myself (and I can say this honestly) have never cheated. I have never felt the need to. Why? Dudes did it for me. And I'm not into that petty cheat-cuz-you-did bullshit. I'd rather be alone. What's the point of being in a relationship if we need to be childish? What is the point of us continuously hurting each other? Not me. I'd rather be alone.
In my short life I've had...four boyfriends. The very first cheated on me and got my then best friend pregnant. Scandalous right? This was way back in the day, I was in eighth grade. His excuse? I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. My second boyfriend claims he never cheated on me but I'm not dumb. My lesbian experience cheated on me for real for sure, that's why his ass no longer resides in New York State. The last one wasn't around long enough to cheat.
Some women feel at a certain point that they are cursed and they are the reason the man is cheating. Please. I'm going to say this straight and not give a rat's ass what nigga gets offended. *If a man feels the need to cheat on you, he can't explain how he's feeling and he's too much of a bitch to leave. He'd rather compromise your feeling's negatively than save them and say look, I'm on some Donnell Jones sh*t right now.* Now, I could be wrong because I never have been nor will I ever be a man but that's the way I see it. If you can't talk to me anymore then we don't need to be together.
Long sidebar: My godbrother is hanging over my shoulder as I read this. He is telling me just how wrong I am and I am going to give you, my loyal readers, the play by play of this very funny conversation. Please keep in mind that my godbro is quite raw and I am not paraphrasing at all. If you are offended by any three, four, or five letter words, please exit this page.
Tah: F*ck you mean I'm a b*tch?
(He's cheated on every girl he's ever dated, except his current.)
Jacki: Like I said.
Tah: I ain't no b*tch.
J: If you can't just break it off you are.
T: (blowing smoke in my direction b/c he knows that shit pisses me off) And lose good p*ssy? What the f*ck for?
J: So that's all you're about?
T: Hell yeah. Can't get no good p*ssy out it I ain't f*ckin wit a b*tch.
J: Why she gotta be a b*tch?
T: Don't start that shit wit me B, for real.
J: No, you tell me why she gotta be a b*tch?
T: Half these broads out here ain't sh*t but for some p*ssy anyways.
J: So I'm a b*tch?
T: Did I say you?
J: No.
T: Aight then. Lookit (once again blowing smoke), when a nigga meet a broad all he wanna know is if he gone f*ck or not. If a nigga say he ain't tryna smash when he look he lyin, straight like that. I know I'm sizin that sh*t up from the jump.
J: So when you met me it was like that?
T: Hell yea. But not no more.
J: I surely hope not.
T: It's the same for every female. When I meet a b*tch-my bad, when I meet a broad all I wanna know is if she givin up the panties. Not with you and Lazy and sh*t, that's different. Ya'll my sisters. But when I turn around and say yo! in the street? I wanna see that ass!
J: Okay, so back to my point. How is it okay to cheat?
T: I never said that. I just said I ain't no b*tch.
J: What are you?
T: I'm a man. I likes my p*ssy and I'm gone get it when I can.
J: At the risk of hurting your girl?
T: What she don't know won't hurt her.
J: And what she does know?
T: She'll get over it.
J: So its okay if she don't know and oh well if she do?
T: Yup.
J: You a dog, you know that?
T: (rolls his eyes, passes me the Black and stands, he's about to get very verbal) Get the f*ck outta here! You know how many f*ckin times b*tches done f*cked up wit me? That sh*t is okay by you? Get the f*ck outta here wit that sh*t. B*tches wanna do what they wanna do twenty-four seven and then when a nigga do shit back to them they wanna get all mad and sh*t. B*tches been cheatin on me since who shot John. Ain't no b*tch gone get mad cuz I'm gone f*ck who I wanna f*ck.
J: Is that a fact?
T: Hell muthaf*ckin yea its a fact. (Grabs his crotch) I'm gone f*ck who I wanna f*ck cuz its my muthaf*ckin d*ck, ya heard?
J: Your wife included?
T: (retrieves his cigar and sits down) That ain't the same.
J: How? You just said you gone f*ck who you wanna f*ck. Cuz its your d*ck. What's different?
T: You know Mama Rock. Her and my daddy was married twenty-seven years before he died. That shit is love right there. Don't no grown ass man cheat on his wife.
J: Tah, are you listenin to yourself right now?
T: I'm listenin to me B, I hear me. And if you was listenin it would make sense.
J: Please explain this sh*t, baby.
T: (Takes a long pull, puts on a face like he's really thinking about it) When you f*ckin around wit a broad, that'a all she is. She a broad. She ain't got no papers on you, she ain't payin ya rent, she ain't got nothin on you, feel me?
J: Go on.
T: Aight. Now when you put a ring on her finger and make that broad your wife, sh*t change. She ain't a bitch no more, she ain't a broad no more. She your wife. So you best be treatin her with respect.
J: So you don't cheat on Adeena because...
T: I'm gone marry her. Eventually.
J: What is eventually?
T: When I'm ready.
J: You love her right?
T: Yup.
J: Even so. If you weren't going to marry her then she'd be a b*tch?
T: Just like the rest of em.
J: So any woman that's not marriage material is automatically a b*tch?
T: A nigga gone marry him a woman, a nice girl. Ain't no man gone marry no b*tch.
J: You're killin me, Tah.
T: (shrugs) Ask any nigga and it gone make sense to them. Ask that Philly nigga you be talkin to, ask Nate, ask Jody, Papa, Nikki, Ray, Rich, all them. All them niggas gone say the same thing.
J: I'm not sure any of them think of women as b*tches, Tah.
T: You know what the f*ck I mean, B.

So there you have it. Cheating, logically broken down in the mind of what I think is a man. I love Tah like blood (he's my self-proclaimed godbrother) but the boy is crazy. So the brotha's that read these posts everyday, please give me input and I will post it later on. Becasue this is just unbelievable.
So back to the point I was making: this is exactly why so many women are mess up now. So many times they have given their all, their love and trust just to have it taken for granted. How much of that can a person take? Especially if it is in your nature to love hard? Me for example. Once I give my love to someone it takes the ultimate betrayal to say look, I don't love you anymore. You need to go pretty far for me to say that. There's a thin line between love and hate? Huh, they weren't joking.
Cheating, IMO, is unforgiveable. I can pretty much forgive everything else. You could look me in the eye and say you've been a government assassin for the past trwenty years and I wouldn't bat and eye. But tell me you went outside of this committed relationship to find whatever you were looking for and its going to be on. That's grounds for death, I think. And don't think were getting a divorce. The vows say til death do us part. Death is the only excuse for the end of a marriage. If that's the way you want to go, fine. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce. That means the other 50 end in what? I'm gonna go ahead and say it: death. No I'm not ovverreacting. I'm just saying that my husband is going to be pushing up daisies if I ever find out he took a walk on the wild side. Ya'll saw Goodfellas.
But does it really need to get to that point? No! Don't get married if you can't say for sure whether you will or will not cheat. I don't understand why this topic is taken so lightly by so many people. Is it a joke? Is this how far things have come?
(Okay, now I would be a filthy liar if I didn't put this on the record. There is one extreme EXTREME occasion where me stepping over the lines would ever be mildly considered. This person knows who they are and they also know that I would be hard pressed to keep it together. Not saying its right, just saying that it will be hella hard to act right if I'm in a committed relationship at the time.)


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