Sunday, January 01, 2006

Year In Review, con't

So where was I? Ah yes.

I met the Last Straw in the spring of '05. I was at a low point, mulling over the restraining order (and court ordered anger management but that's another story) and he was one of those say-what-you-want-to-hear types. He was sayin it and I was hearin it.
He was a smart guy but he was stupid, you feel me? He was the strangest Muslim I knew. I didn't go to Mosque, he didn't pray (well, while I was around he didn't), and he smoked more weed than Snoop on a bad day. He was also an ex-con. Gave me some BS reason (one of those reasons you forget as soon as you hear it) for how he ended up in there. Never did finsih high school, of course that wasn't his fault, they threw him out and he never returned, sold drugs for a little while and then was arressted and found Allah.
Sidebar: WTF??? Why is it that everytime niggas go to prison they come out and they've found Allah? What kind of dumb bullsh*t is that?
To make an incredibly long and painful story short, he was a misguided basket case. He had a hard life and translated that into everyone else's fault. He made quite a few preventable and stupid mistakes and seemingly refused to take responsibility for any of them. His children's mothers (notice the plural), his siblings and his parents were to blame for the things he had to endure growing up.
I could hate him. I didn't know him long enough to do so. I'm only glad I made it out alive. I know you all are dying to know exactly what and what did not happen between us; bottom line, I'm not going to discuss it. There are two people on the planet that can understand what happened and they know who they are. I haven't let go yet and I'm probably sure never will.
So there you have it. The main reasons why I'm the bitter baby I am. Makes sense?


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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take and may this song play all the way, through. And if it skip a beat, hit repeat, this the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. If it skip a beat, hit repeat, This the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. -Juelz Sanatana, This Is Me, What The Game's Been Missing