Thursday, March 09, 2006

Stella Lunar


I was reading an MSN update today informing folks that they've found water on the Moon. I could care less, I've got all the Dasani I can drink right here. But after further investigation I realized something I had not ever thought about in life.
Our Moon has no name.
Like seriously. Mercury and Venus have no moons, while Jupiter has sixteen. All of which have names. (My personal favorite is one of Uranus' 21 moons, Juliet. That's my middle name.) I have to be honest; I never thought of this before. Why doesn't our moon have a name?
I mean lets be real here. Someone had to sit down and think of twenty-one different names for all of Uranus' moons, sixteen for Jupiter, eighteen for Saturn, and all the others and they couldn't give us one? The only planet in the solar system that actually matters has no name for its moon? Even freaking Pluto, quite possibly the most irrelevant planet (as far as distance is concerned) has names for its three moons, Charon, S/2005 P1 and S/2005 P2. (Although the final two efforts sound more like rejects from the Star Wars epics.)
My brother sugegsted that the name of the Moon is in fact The Moon. I told him that was its title. We say the Moon like people say the King, the President, the General. I wonder if the other planets talk about Earth behind her back, laughing at our nameless heavenly phenom? We can't even pretend like there's a name there. Can we jack either the Greek or Latin names and pass them off as our own? (Selene and Luna, respectively). Or are we forced to look at the sky each day and say look at the full Moon? I would love to say "look how full Selene looks tonight," or "Honey, have you seen how Luna glows over those trees?"
This is going to nag me until they make a formal announcement.

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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take and may this song play all the way, through. And if it skip a beat, hit repeat, this the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. If it skip a beat, hit repeat, This the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. -Juelz Sanatana, This Is Me, What The Game's Been Missing