Rants From My 18-Year-Old Mind
i've decided not to capitalize anything in today's post. tomorrow, i will be using neither capitalization nor punctuation. that should be fun. i'll show you grammar freaks.
it has come to my attention that some of my readers apparently think i'm older than i say i am. i find this hilarious. folks always think i'm older than i am when it comes to things that don't count. people tell me i look as old as twenty-five. try cashing a thousand dollar check without state id. all of sudden my ass looks sixteen. bastards.
the thing that kills me is that i can cash my mother's checks and pay all her bills without them giving me a second glance. so why in the good green hell can't i cash my own damn check? wtf? this is a government conspiracy, i swear. so, as if getting up too early in the morning to go out today wasn't bad enough, i have to get back up tomorrow (my day off, my damn day off) and hustle down down to dmv to get my non-drivers id card. more drama. the first theing they request when going for your NON DRIVERS ID CARD is ID. if i had id, i wouldn't need id. seriously, whose idea was that? i could kill them right now.
tonight, i have to search my room frantically for various pieces of id that will eventually culminate into six points. i don't know how many points the birth certificate racks up, it doesn't specify. of course, i'm slow so i could have missed it. so i'm guessing if i take my high school/college/union settlement id's, birth certificate and ss card and my pretty face, that should be more than enough to get me in good. i'm going to have to look at the site again.
as you all know, mama is slow. i'm not going to lie about it only to be found out later and embarrassed. i have a hard time understanding things. just a wee bit. it tkaes me a few moments more than others. like when my brother asked me what color was george washington's white horse and i said huh? rest assured, there's a difference between slow and stupid. i ain't stupid. trust and believe that.
i am indecisive today, though. about certain situations. like, how do you tell your girlfriend that the guy she is dating is a total dickweed and will probably cheat on her the second she slides the ring on his finger? or your best friend that his girlfriend is a self-centered prick who cares nothing about him but what he can do for her? or your boyfriend that you are going to kick him in the shins with a steel-toed boot if he doesn't get his ish together in a reasonable amount of time?
*sigh* the sick me is having a hard time saying, "you need to open your eyes and realize that he is using you and if he loved you he wouldn't have waited this long and cheated on you various times to realize he 'loves' you; you need to drop this bitch because any woman who maxes out your credit card after she stole it from you is not a keeper; and you sir, have serious work to put in to get back on my good side." *another long sigh* it jsut doesn't come out that way when i'm not feeling good. it's jsut so much easier to lay in bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the Dru Hill album over and over and over again. i didn't know any of those songs when i first got it (okay, well there were a few i knew and a few i didn't) but i'll be damned if i don't know them all by heart now.
okay, so i checked back at the site and they're not even open on saturday. i'm glad i figured that out before i didn't ask someone and made the unnecessary trek down there. so scrap the two above paragraphs. i'm just going to go home, get my atm card, and deposit the damn thing. save myself a shitload of trouble. should have done that in the first place, shouldn't i have? i just hate the whole wait-nine-years-for-it-to-clear thing. so i will have to wait until hopefully monday to be cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
speaking of, did i mention that i could be working come monday? well, i'm not going to go all happy on ya'll, but i'm feeling very optimistic though. i need the cash flow.
sleep beckons.
it has come to my attention that some of my readers apparently think i'm older than i say i am. i find this hilarious. folks always think i'm older than i am when it comes to things that don't count. people tell me i look as old as twenty-five. try cashing a thousand dollar check without state id. all of sudden my ass looks sixteen. bastards.
the thing that kills me is that i can cash my mother's checks and pay all her bills without them giving me a second glance. so why in the good green hell can't i cash my own damn check? wtf? this is a government conspiracy, i swear. so, as if getting up too early in the morning to go out today wasn't bad enough, i have to get back up tomorrow (my day off, my damn day off) and hustle down down to dmv to get my non-drivers id card. more drama. the first theing they request when going for your NON DRIVERS ID CARD is ID. if i had id, i wouldn't need id. seriously, whose idea was that? i could kill them right now.
tonight, i have to search my room frantically for various pieces of id that will eventually culminate into six points. i don't know how many points the birth certificate racks up, it doesn't specify. of course, i'm slow so i could have missed it. so i'm guessing if i take my high school/college/union settlement id's, birth certificate and ss card and my pretty face, that should be more than enough to get me in good. i'm going to have to look at the site again.
as you all know, mama is slow. i'm not going to lie about it only to be found out later and embarrassed. i have a hard time understanding things. just a wee bit. it tkaes me a few moments more than others. like when my brother asked me what color was george washington's white horse and i said huh? rest assured, there's a difference between slow and stupid. i ain't stupid. trust and believe that.
i am indecisive today, though. about certain situations. like, how do you tell your girlfriend that the guy she is dating is a total dickweed and will probably cheat on her the second she slides the ring on his finger? or your best friend that his girlfriend is a self-centered prick who cares nothing about him but what he can do for her? or your boyfriend that you are going to kick him in the shins with a steel-toed boot if he doesn't get his ish together in a reasonable amount of time?
*sigh* the sick me is having a hard time saying, "you need to open your eyes and realize that he is using you and if he loved you he wouldn't have waited this long and cheated on you various times to realize he 'loves' you; you need to drop this bitch because any woman who maxes out your credit card after she stole it from you is not a keeper; and you sir, have serious work to put in to get back on my good side." *another long sigh* it jsut doesn't come out that way when i'm not feeling good. it's jsut so much easier to lay in bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the Dru Hill album over and over and over again. i didn't know any of those songs when i first got it (okay, well there were a few i knew and a few i didn't) but i'll be damned if i don't know them all by heart now.
okay, so i checked back at the site and they're not even open on saturday. i'm glad i figured that out before i didn't ask someone and made the unnecessary trek down there. so scrap the two above paragraphs. i'm just going to go home, get my atm card, and deposit the damn thing. save myself a shitload of trouble. should have done that in the first place, shouldn't i have? i just hate the whole wait-nine-years-for-it-to-clear thing. so i will have to wait until hopefully monday to be cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
speaking of, did i mention that i could be working come monday? well, i'm not going to go all happy on ya'll, but i'm feeling very optimistic though. i need the cash flow.
sleep beckons.
posted by Jacki Simmons at 9:37 AM
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