Sunday, January 15, 2006

...Ain't Gold (Part Eighteen)

Toots dropped her coat in the middle of the floor and kicked off her boots, leaving a snowy mess in the hallway. She paused in midstep to snatch her coat off the floor and grab her Newports and lighter. She lit it and drew her gun.
"Put that away. I'm not here for a fight."
Toots lowered her weapon at the sound of her sister's voice. She offered a smoke, which was declined. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to talk."
"Me. And you. And Rich." Cookie was well aware that though the gun was lowered, it was still pointed lazily in her direction. She knew her sister would do anything to protect her precious Rich but she needed her to hop off his nuts for a second and see the big picture.
Toots sat across from her sister, feet up on her coffee table. "So what about you? And me? And Rich?"
"What's up wit ya'll? Ya'll fuckin or not?"
"Why is that your fucking business, Cookie?"
"Because now you know what he did to me. So you need to figure out where your loyalties lie."
Toots sucked her teeth and rose. "That's bullshit and you know it."
Cookie followed her. "It ain't bullshit. That muthafucka let me sit in prison, Toots. For something I ain't do. He ain't come see me or nothin. You know what them bitches do to you in there?"
"What do you want me to say, Cookie? You want me to say fuck him, I'm down wit you? Is that what you want me to say?"
"Hell yeah! I need to know you got my back. We blood."
Toots paused. "Yeah, so?"
Cookie was taken aback. Yeah, so? What was Toots trying to say to her? She had a duty to protect her blood. She couldn't let Rich get away with what he had done to her. She couldn't turn her back on her only sister.
"You love him, Toots?"
"Did you?"
"That's not what I asked you."
"What the fuck does it matter? That shit was in the past. I'm not gone pay for what happened to you. He needs me."
"He don't need you. You see what he did to me. He made me kill my baby, Toots."
Toots rolled her eyes at her sister. "That could've been anybody's baby, Cookie, and you know it."
Cookie raised a long finger and pointed it in her sister's face. "It was his baby. He knew it and I knew it. Don't fuck with me."
"He knew it wasn't his. He was doing what he needed to do to survive. We was all just startin out then, you know it."
Cookie quickly became indignant. This was not going as planned. "Fuck him Toots!" she screamed. "Fuck him! He don't love you! He don't need you! If he loved you he wouldn't be fuckin that bitch! He don't love you Toots!"
"Shut up!" Toots caved, bending at the waist and hollering back with all her might. "Shut up! Get out!" She was screaming too hard to know what she was really saying. She pointed towards the door with her gun still in hand. She wanted Cookie out and as far away from her as possible. Cookie brushed past her sister and slammed the door on her way out. When she was gone, Toots fell to the floor and let on a long, childish wail.
Cookie had hit her where it hurt. And she wouldn't soon forget it.


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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take and may this song play all the way, through. And if it skip a beat, hit repeat, this the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. If it skip a beat, hit repeat, This the realest shit I ever wrote, this is me. -Juelz Sanatana, This Is Me, What The Game's Been Missing