Okay, Wait, Let Me Explain

To the angry mob that stormed the forts and broke down the walls, trying to get the knights to throw my body over the parapets, please allow me to explain myself.
People, how could you not see this coming? The name of the story is Ain't Gold. You had to have figured it out that Maxell was going to hit them hard at the end of the story. Come on!! But wait, then again, I did change the ending a few months ago so yeah, I might have thrown you off. But anywho, you all know I'm not fond of happy endings. All that glitters ain't gold, is the moral of that story. So please, put down your torches and pitchforks and back down for my sakes.
You think I wanted to kill them? Of course not. I had such a crush on Rich, I really did. And I know we were all rooting for him and Nikki to make it to the altar fine well and good. But which ending is more shocking, more explosive, more exciting? I did say that you weren't going to be prepared so you gotta blame yourselves. If it makes you feel better the next story is going to be rather interesting. He he he...

Stand Up Award

NEW YORK -- Volatile supermodel Naomi Campbell, one of the world's most recognizable faces, was charged with second-degree assault Thursday after cracking her housekeeper in the head with a phone during an argument in her Park Avenue apartment, police said.
The British-born Campbell, 35, was taken into custody shortly after police responded to Lenox Hill Hospital to investigate the reported assault, police said. Campbell was charged after questioning at the Midtown North Precinct, where scores of photographers, reporters and film crews awaited her exit.
This was not the first time that Campbell allegedly reached out and touched someone with a phone. In 2003, the supermodel was sued by a former administrative assistant who alleged that Campbell had thrown a phone at her during a tantrum two years earlier
According to police, Campbell's 41-year-old housekeeper received four stitches to the head at the hospital after the incident. When investigating officers arrived at Lenox Hill, the alleged victim identified Campbell as her attacker, police said.
The victim was not identified. The incident allegedly happened around 8 a.m. Thursday in Campbell's tony Park Avenue apartment, police said. In a statement, a Campbell spokesman said the supermodel was not responsible for any assault.
"We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning," said the statement from J.R. Johnson. "We are confident the courts will see it the same way."
Campbell was discovered at age 15 and launched a career that landed her in magazines worldwide — including the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The international modeling sensation appeared in several films, and dabbled in a musical career.
The mercurial Campbell has a reputation for angry outbursts and abusive behavior. In addition to the 2003 lawsuit, Campbell pleaded guilty three years earlier in Toronto to an assault charge for beating another assistant while making a film in Canada in 1998.
She also battled a cocaine addiction before getting straight several years ago. (source Associated Press)

This is precisely why I love this girl so much. She is an ass whipper. ( Looks like she stole a page from Russell Cowe's book, huh?)

...Ain't Gold (Part Thirty) Grand Finale

"If you don't put that cigarette out, I swear to God, voy a matarle. Cual es su problema? What the hell?" Chuchi snatched the cigarette from a visibly shaky Nicole. Why did she have to get cold feet now? Nicole reached out for her smoke but Chuchi hissed and dropped it into an empty bottle of Poland Spring. "Here, chew this."
Chuchi popped a Listerine Breath Strip and an Altoid and shoved them in Nikki's mouth. She winced as the strong combination of breath mints stung her tongue. She was standing in her hotel room with her arms out as her family and friends flitted around her, preparing her. Toots stood behind her, foot in her back, tightening the bustier she was to wear under her gown. When that was done, Cora and Chuchi carried out her gown: a hundred thousand dollar white Vera Wang, dripping in diamonds. Nicole closed her eyes and the two slid the dress on her. It fell perfectly. Lani passed her the tiara. When she turned around there was a collective gasp. She was indeed a bad ass bride.

Rich cut quite a picture in his custom made Enzo tuxedo. Fresh hair cut, clean face and two diamonds blinged in each ear. He smiled at himself, like a kid on his way to senior prom. Not that he had made it to his senior prom but if he had, then he was sure he would have looked just as good then as he did now. Looks like his took time to cultivate. Fortunately, he was born fine.
He wondered what Nikki's gown looked like. He had tried to sneak up there and check them out a little while ago but the girls had all but chased him out, throwing things and giggling. He slammed the door shut and bolted before they could chase him. Mookie had one job: get the tuxes, and he did it well.
"You ready for that journey to forever, patna?" Mookie called from behind him. "Here. I figured you'd want one." He handed Rich a shot of something dark and Rich identified it as he knocked it back. Tequila.
"Make it three and I'll meet you downstairs." He hated to admit his hands were shaking on his special day, hated it that Cool Hand Rich was nervous, but he knew the alcohol would shut him right on down. He'd feel much better. He winked at Nikki in his mind and put his jacket over his shoulder.

"Everything is in order, I trust?"
"We all set. We just waitin on the show to begin."
"Alright." There was a pause. "No fucking mistakes this time."
"Don't worry about it. There ain't gone be no mistakes."
"Hey."
"What?"
"How does she look?"
Another pause, this one in the final trimester of its pregnancy.
"She looks good."

"Now, steady, everyone, do you remember your places? I want you to remember your places!" Cynthia shouted at the men milling around the suite. She had gone from upscale weding planner to royal pain in the ass. Mookie was smoking and she promptly grabbed his cigar and broke it in half, stomping over to the toilet and tossing it inside. "Yo, Rich, tell this-"
"Ah ah ah ah," Rich interrupted. He knew Mookie was going to say "bitch" but he couldn't let him do that. He waved at Cynthia to continue.
"No smoking!" she growled. "I am going to go check on the bride's progress, in that time, I want you all dressed and downstairs in the limo's!"
"Aight, we heard you," Cris said. This uppity broad was annoying him and he knew that he wasn't the only one. Why couldn't Nikki hire a sista?
Mookie shook his head and made sure Cynthia was gone. Then he removed a bottle of Chris Brothers from an undisclosed location and walked around so everyone (Rich, Cris, Tony B., and Ice) could tap the bottle. They did, and he poured a little poison for everyone.
"I never thought it could happen," he started sarcastically. "I always thought his royal pimpness would be single to the day he died, poppin his collar and shit."
"So did I," Ice shouted from where he perched rolling a joint.
"So when this nigga looked me in the eye and said, 'yo check it, I'ma marry her', ya'll know I had to clown a nigga. But you a better man than me, nigga. Just think: the same pussy for the rest of your life."
There were groans from all his boys at the thought of giving up their philandering. Rich smiled goodnaturedly and laughed right along with them. They could say what they wanted, but he was glad they were on his side. He looked around the room at the family that had held him down while he got established, loved him and all his flaws. They weren't just business partners, they were his brothers. Each and every last one of them.
Then Cris broke the mood into laughter by adding, "Just make sure you keep her and Shadow away from each other. We don't want no more bullets flyin."
Speaking of... Rich smiled and pointed, standing to find his phone. It was laying on the counter by the door; he grabbed it and went into the hallway. It rang twice before being picked up.
"Hello?"
Silence, the same as always, greeted him.
"You know the drill."
He heard a button.
"You are coming, right?"
Another button.
"Can you tell me where you are?" Someone tapped his shoulder and he whirled around, phone still glued to his ear. He hung up when he saw who it was. "How the hell do you do that?" He knew she wouldn't answer but he had been asking her rhetorical questions for years. Why stop now?
He fought the urge to hug her, instead taking a step back and looking at her in her halting beauty. She looked so different outside of her usual darkness. Instead of black, she wore the exact opposite, an all white tighter than tight leather suit and four and a half inch red fuck me pumps. Her black eye patch had been replaced with a white one and her cleavage threatened to revolt against her with each movement.
Richard was speechless. He knew she looked good but he didn't know she looked this good. He choked trying to find the words. "Ah-you-uh-well. You look really good."
She nodded an I know and reached into the matching white clutch in her hand. He knew she had a weapon in there, knives today, and wondered where her gun was. Probably hidden away somewhere on her body. She was good for that. She found what she was looking for and tossed it at Rich.
It was a bullet.
Not just any; the one the doctors had extracted after Nicole shot her. Rich wasn't sure he was going to see her again after that and this was the first time he had seen her since the frantic wedding planning began. She tossed the bullet at him and he caught it, understanding the gesture. It meant she was back. No hard feelings, don't sweat it, everything's a go. He nodded and smiled, she nodded as well and turned on her heel.

Nicole wrang her hands as she fought the urge to say fuck you Chuchi! and get another cigarette. She and Rich had picked-okay she had picked-Boyz II Men's That's Why I Love You to walk to. Here it was time to go and she was sick to her stomach. Her mother had already gone down and it was time for Lani to go.
"You're gonna be fine, mama! Just go out there and get married!" She kissed her sister's cheek, granned her bouquet and ran out to meet Cris. They walked and then it was Chuchi's turn.
"I love you sis. Now get it together and get out there." Toots blew her a kiss as well and disappeared.
She had opted to walk down the aisle on her own and now that all eyes were on her, she wished to God that she hadn't. Her stomach was working overtime against her and she dry heaved. Cynthia rushed behind, just in time. She had a WetNap in one hand and a bottle of Evian spray in the other.
"No no no no, no fainting today." She sprayed the water in Nikki's face. "Get out there, my dear and get married!" The spritz made her feel better. She nodded towards Cynthia and took her bouquet in her hands. Cynthia gave her a slight push. Nicole took a deep breath and walked out.
When he saw his future wife, Richard thought he would be the one to faint. She looked like an angel. He hated terrible cliches, but she really looked like she had floated down from heaven. He saw the corners of her eyes misting up and smiled at her. Just make it to the altar baby, then we a go from there.
Nikki made it to the altar.
Reverend Donavan McNeil opened his mouth after the two stood before him, hands joined. "Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here today to join the union of Richard Knightley and Nicole Baisden." By the time he got to the "If there is anyone here that objects to this union," part, they were both ready for this to be over. They wanted to be back in the hotel suite, ripping each others clothes off. It was in their eyes.
"By the power veted in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."
Rich smiled and pulled Nicole into a deep kiss that lasted several seconds. The crowd of about two hundred and fifty erupted into hoot and hollers of surprise and joy. The happily married couple turned around and prepared to face the world for the first time as man and wife. Cora smiled happily, Toots pumped her fist in the air and Lani clapped happily. Even Shadow managed to crack a smile from where she sat in the back.
And then all hell broke loose.
She didn't know what went wrong exactly, but there were loud popping noises and screams. She saw Shadow panic and move forward, a gun in each hand. Shadow was shooting at someone close to her, but she couldn't see who. Something sharp hit her in the stomach and Nikki knew the nervous cramps had returned. Where had Rich gotten the gun from? Shadow turned and threw something and someone fell.
Her mother and sister had ducked for cover and were one of the few people trying to get up on stage and get Nikki to safety. Toots, Rich, Shadow and Cris were firing away like there was no tomorrow. They were shooting at...Cookie? What the hell was she doing here? And Mookie? What was going on? Before she knew what had gone terribly wrong, four very well placed shots met their mark. Shadow saw where they were going and tried to get there first.
She shouted, and shocked everyone as she did. No one cared though. They cared about the dive she made. Toots saw what she had seen and shouted as well. She laid Mookie down before she did though, and Cris managed to get Cookie in the leg before she hit him in the shoulder. The next few moments went by like slow motion in a bad movie.
Rich stumbled into Nicole and dragged her down with him. Shadow was a pro in her pumps and dropped to her knees by their sides. She ripped open Rich's tux and her worst fears were confirmed. His eyes were open, staring at her. He smiled as she put her mouth to his to perform CPR. In her heart of heart's, she knew it was too late.
Toots put her finger in Nicole's neck. "She can't be hit, you can't be hit, ma." She rolled Rich to the side gently. The bullet had passed through him and hit her square in the chest. The perfection of the dress they had raved over a few short hours ago was marred by the flower of blood spreading across her chest. She gasped out a cry, less than a shriek, something like a scream. Toots grabbed her gun and checked the chamber. Her sister lay fifty feet away, writhing in pain from her wound.
She stood over her body and spoke to her for the last time.
"Toots, let me explain, chica."
"Explain what?" she said in a voice calmer than the fire raging inside of her. "Hay un lugar especial en el infierno para usted, puta." She emptied the clip into her sister and walked away.
The police were going to surround the place any second now and they couldn't get caught with all these guns around them. They had to get out. "Shadow, come on. Help me get Cris." The two girls dragged their wounded friend out the back of the church, kicking the carnage out of their way as they went. Ice was outside, Lani and Cora in his car. He had herded them out when the first shots were fired so he had no idea what went on in there.
"Toots! What the fuck, ma! What happened?" He took one look at Shadow's bloodstained suit and opened his mouth in horror. Cora saw the suit as well and passed out. Lani banged her hand against the back window. Toots refused to answer her. She slapped the back of Ice's truck and told him to get the hell out of there. She and Shadow disappeared into teh day that had become the blackest either of them had ever known.
She didn't even have a plan. She didn't know where to go. Shadow was strangely composed as she navigated her way through the city streets. She took her back to her place, a place no one, not even Rich, knew about. Shadow undressed Toots and wrapped her in a blanket. She was numb to everything and knew she would have to wake up soon. But not now. Not now. At eight o'clock that night, she and Shadow sat together silently and held hands as they watched the news.

Maxell watched the same report from his swank digs upstate. If everythign went well, they would be the headline news. He turned up the volume.
"A wedding turns into the scene of a violent massacre today and both the bride and groom are gunned down. Richard Knightley and his wife, Nicole Knightley, had literally just been pronounced man and wife when they were gunned down in front of a church full of guests. Police are not sure if this is a gang related shooting. An unidentified man and woman were also found dead. There are no details at this time. Anyone with information to this hideous crime in advised to please call 1800 876 TIPS at this time."
Maxell leaned his head back, opened his mouth and laughed. He laughed hard and long, as if he were watching some sort of a comedy marathon. His greatest enemy and threat was now dead. He could go back to ruling his city with an iron fist. The man had crossed him, and now he had returned the favor.
And that felt damn good.

2006 (c) Jacki Simmons
All rights reserved.

Hustler's Ambition

The site is about to become strictly promotion. Seriously.
I am going to be reviewing a contract later this week and if everything is well then I will be getting my hustle on, for real for real. I have a few reviews from a few different people but I am about to start sending out the Jacki Simmons Experience Package, details to follow. I'm a hustler at heart and I don't have much of a problem selling myself (when I am in the right mind which is usually after a steadying chat with my close personal friend and spiritual advisor, JW). But I'm not too fond of people, as you all know, which can be a barrier in this business. So I have come up with a plan. Of course I'm not going to tell it here, so you can jack it.
I've spoken to a lot of published authors since my run at novel writing and they have all given me a lot to chew on. There are so many things about the literary industry that I am not ashamed to admit my ignorance of. But then again it is great to have people on your side, willing to share the good, bad and ugly with you. So I guess meeting new people ain't all that bad after all.
I have a few loyal readers on this site and you know if you don't hook me up I'm gonna pimp slap you to high heaven. So send me an email with your complete address and I will send you the package. You all have my email, if not look it up in the profile. This is gonna be such fun.

Oh, I have another present for you ...Ain't Gold Finale, tonight. :) When? I can't tell you. I just gotta keep you on your toes. It could be five minutes from now, five hours from now. Just know that the end is very near.

Hoe Sit Down Award of the Week

NEW YORK (Billboard) - World Wrestling Entertainment -- better-known as the WWE -- is ramping up its music initiatives with the formation of the WWE Music Group.

The New York-based operation will concentrate on further connecting the WWE brand with mainstream and under-the-radar music via multimedia platforms.
The WWE Music Group officially kicks off April 2 when WrestleMania 22 commands the stage of Chicago's Allstate Arena.
Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child will be on hand to perform "America the Beautiful"; rock band P.O.D. will perform wrestler Rey Mysterio's entrance theme.
Peter Gabriel's "Big Time" is the event's theme.
The sold-out event will be available via pay-per-view and as a webcast at wwe.com. To be sure, the WWE reach is far and wide. Its RAW and SmackDown brands (weekly TV shows, PPVs, tours) are household names in more than 100 countries.
Still, even with these numbers, many do not take the WWE brand seriously. In fact, one of general manager Neil Lawi's priorities is to educate major and indie labels, artist managers and music publishers about the ways WWE champions music.
"There has always been a musical element to WWE," says Lawi. "Now, we're taking a more music-centric approach to everything we do."
In the process, the WWE brand is becoming more of a full-fledged entertainment company, encompassing music, TV, film, the Internet, ringtones and videogames.
POP-CULTURE PUSH
WWE executive VP of TV production Kevin Dunn and Lawi stress that, like the music industry, WWE is about entertainment. With its new music division -- and with the help of in-house talent and established artists -- their aim is to push the WWE brand further into pop culture.
Last spring, WWE champion John Cena scored a hit with his hip-hop debut, "You Can't See Me." Credited to John Cena & Tha Trademarc, the WWE/Columbia album debuted at No. 15 on the Billboard 200, No. 10 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart and No. 3 on Top Rap Albums. It has sold 292,000 copies, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
Music World Entertainment's Mathew Knowles, who manages Williams' career, says tag-teaming his artist with WWE made sense. "WrestleMania has been changing and evolving over the years," Knowles says. "It's become a multicultural, family event -- and that is attractive to us."
Every time WWE works with a mainstream act, like Williams or P.O.D., any stigma associated with WWE is further wrestled to the mat.
P.O.D. has worked with WWE on more than one occasion. Most recently, the group's "Boom" opened WWE's return to NBC with the March 18 two-hour special, "Saturday Night's Main Event."
In May, WWE/Columbia will issue "Wreckless Intent," a compilation featuring P.O.D., Three 6 Mafia, Killswitch Engage and others performing the entrance themes of WWE's superstar wrestlers.
Four months later, 20th Century Fox and WWE Films will release "The Marine," a feature film starring Cena. It will be accompanied by a WWE soundtrack through a label partner yet to be determined. Meanwhile, Lilian Garcia -- the ring announcer for "RAW" -- is working on an album with producers George Noriega (Ricky Martin) and Tim Mitchell (Shakira).
(source: Reuters/Billboard)

Seriously, why are-whose idea-what kinda foolishness-I don't even know where to go with this post.

Downward Spiral

So after I had a few drinks in me the Boarder and I sat down and got to it and actually had a decent conversation. Albeit it was about the state of events at my residence, which, as of late, have become quite abominable.
I was wallowing in my cerveza and wondering to myself just how bad I could let things get. I mean, I am really pissed at myself right now. This whole bad episode last summer/not graduating/dying to get the blue fuck outta here situation is putting a strain on this pretty face.
If I had a car, I swear I'd be driving until the gas ran out. I wish I could just hop in the car and get away, just me, myself and the vechicle. I mean, I can do that with Tah, but I would much rather be all alone, just me and my thoughts.
I'm planning a coup against my mother. Does that sound wrong? The overthrow of her empire? Okay, maybe that's me being a little bit dramatic but seriously. Something has to be done about the craziness around here. I am sressed to the point of breaking and that is not good for my skin Three stress rashes in just under two days? WTF?

Yeah...

That whole quitting smoking thing is so overrated...I'll get around to it one of these days...Stressed spells desserts backwards, stressed spells desserts backwards...

At Green:
Thanx a lot mama, your encouragement and support is one of the reasons I have made it this far. Since coming to C2C you are one of the people that has constantly kept me on my toes and made me remember just what it is about writing that I love so much. Your money's no good here, expect an autographed copy in the mail :)

Hollymood Swingin

I'm pissed.
I plan on being pissed for another few days or som. Or whenver I snap out of this blue funk. I know I'm supposed to be emitting a positive odor, being that I just had a very positive thing happen, but I am just not feeling life at the moment.
I haven't seen L in a week and I'm jonesin.
I need a drink.
I need to go therapeudic (is that how you spell that word? I highly doubt it) shoe shopping.
I need a taller drink.
I got my hair washed today and its pissing me off more because it keeps falling into face and that shit gets real old real fast.
Johnnie would be lovely, thank you.

I am still planning that imaginary trip to the Bahamas. I'm gonna go by hook or by crook. I have no idea what I'll do out there, but I'm planning it anyway. I'm sure the hotels have serious AC action going on.No, I'm not gonna spend the entire trip in the air conditioner.
I had some cerveza last night and it made me feel even worse. I keep forgetting that alcohol is a downer. Most of the time I feel so much damn better after a drink thatit totally slips my mind. But there has been a cloud hanging over my head for the past few days.
Maybe it's my imminent return to school...Hmm...Or the factr that I need a job...and a car...and an apartment...and a life...
Let me get out of here before I start depressing people...
Jesus I am in a bad mood.

Miscellaneous Thoughts: Pre-Sunup Edition

I'm up rather early this evening seeing as I have no phone.

I need to lose twenty pounds before Moni's wedding. Well damn, before my mama's wedding so I don't f*ck up the pictures. I'm her maid-of-honor and I want these shots to come out looking halfway decent.

I should really stop stalling on the learner's permit tip.

Why can I hear your Bleep from the fourth floor at this time of the night? Seriously?

Why don't we have an elevator in this building? I was just thinking about that.

Who else is going to see Waist Deep with Tyrese and the Game's fine ass?

Speaking of movies I saw Steve Harvey's Don't Trip, He Ain't Through With Me Yet last night...Hil-a-ri-ous. I don't know how he made it through that whole hour without not one cuss, but he did it. I was this close to tears.

I'm on a rock and roll trip out. I'm going to Tower Records to get a Nirvana and a Pink Floyd album within the week. Wow...Never thought I'd see the day. Not to mention I've been playing All American Rejects and Greenday like crazy for the past few days. What is happening to me? Oh wait...the death of hip-hop, aka D4L/Dem Franchize Boyz/K.Fed. Never mind.

I'm about to take it waaaaay back with this Juelz From Me To You album. I feel so...Ninth grade.

Mentally planning that trip to the Bahamas

Watched Good Night and Good Luck the other night. Very good. I recommend it to those of you that watch those kinds of movies (aka not you RubbabandMan)

Speaking of "those kinds of movies" has anyone seen Capote? Feedback please.

Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith today. Yes, again. And Edward Scissrohands. And Finding Nemo. And Kill Bill. So no, I pretty much didn't leave the room at all.

Will be leaving the room tomorrow. Well, later on today.

I quit smoking again.

Forget Forrester, Find Me

Hola my pplz.
So I got that email back from Melodrama today, expressing interest in offering me a publishing contract. You know my lil black ass was all too happy. Was? Sorry, typo. Is. I just opened my email a little while ago and I am just now calming down after having a near fatal heart attack. And the blog is the only method of communication I have as of right now, seeing as I am phoneless and Yahooless.
So before I start gushing, I need to move on to more pressing matters. Seeing as I'm still writing three -wait four- novels at once I really need to slow down and start thinking about my future outside of writing, feel me? I still need to take that impulse trip to the Bahamas this summer and I'll be damned if I don't look good doing it.
I've always loved writing, since I could get the pen in my fat ass fingers. But I was thinking to myself about the backup plan kind of thing. I'm not the kind of person that doesn't have a back up plan and if this writing thing doesn't go as planned, I need to have an alternate source of income.
I'm still doing the cooking thing, pump your brakes, we all know I'm the Queen of the land that is Multitasking, but I will feel much better knowing that when I get home from the restaurant there will be a chapter for me to pen, feel me?
I'm babbling from excitement so let me get out of here. I'll talk to ya'll soon.
Oh, and the Ain't Gold Finale is next Tuesday so stop emailing me trying to get sneak peeks. I don't wanna have to tell ya'll again. Just gotta wait and see. After Ain't Gold, look for Don't Ask, Don't Tell to start in a couple of days.

...Ain't Gold (Part Twenty-Nine)

"Passports?"
"Check."
"The rings?"
"Check."
"Marriage license?"
Nicole moved a couple of papers out of the way from where she sat on the living room floor. "Uh huh, check." Rich sat across from her going over their checklist for the third time.
"Are we paying these people before or after the ceremony?"
"Who, baby?"
"The, um, the pastor and shit."
"Oh. You pay them after the wedding. It's like gratuity, you know? Thanks for giving us your blessing kind of thing."
"And what about Cynthia?"
"I paid her already." She handed him a lengthy receipt. Rich reached out for it with his eyes closed.
"Oh Jesus. Let's see how far in debt we gone be before we even get married." Nicole giggled.
"Hey, you're the one that said I could have whatever I wanted. And it is not that bad."
Rich looked for himself and choked. "You gave this broad ten grand for what? Nikki are you crazy?"
"For eveything! She made all the arrangements and everything. And besides, that's cheap."
"You really tryna kill me, ain't you?"
Nicole put on her poutiest face, the one she knew would get her whatever she wanted. "Baby, I just want everything to be perfect. You're not mad at me are you?"
It worked like a charm every time. He took one look at her big brown eyes, now droopy, and how could he be mad? He knew she was playing him but the girl had mastered the game and he couldn't be mad at her.
"Nah I ain't mad. I just know my ass gotta watch you as soon as you got my last name. I'm changin all my credt card numbers."
That made Nicole laugh. She knew his pockets and wallet were just as much hers as he was. Rich had never ceased to let her have whatever she wanted and that was just fine with her.
"What time is your party?"
Nicole looked up. How could he have known? "What party?"
"Your bachelorette party."
"How-Why-When-"
Rich chuckled. "Baby, I've known bout it longer than you have. Chuchi can't keep a secret for shit."
"Damn. I'm gonna kill her. Well, anyway, it's at eight."
Rich looked down at his Ice-Tek. "You better get goin. I gotta be downtown in a lil bit." They stood from the floor, coming together in a tight long hug before they parted.
"The next time I see you, you're gonna be my wife. Nikki Knightley," he said into her hair.
"I know. I feel like I'm dreaming."
"Want me to wake you up?"
"Ill," she giggled, "You are so nasty."
"I love you, Nikki."
She looked up and into his eyes before answering. "I love you back Richard."

Rich stood in front of the window, one hand in his pocket, the other wrapped around the fifth Newport in twenty minutes. His homies had long since fallen asleep, the worn out stripped laid right out with them. He turned around to look at them, smiled and turned back to the window. The full moon was high in the sky and crisp as a bleached dress shirt. He stared at it, as if it would hold the answer to his restlessness.
He was deep in thouht and as the cigarette burned down to the filter he racked his brain as to why. He was flicking the butt out the window when the light changed. He held his hand out and was greeted with a fresh smoke.
"Brick for your thoughts."
"I wish I knew."
Mookie leaned on the wall beside his friend. "Cold feet?"
"No, not at all. It's not the wedding."
"Then?"
Richard shook his head. "I don't know. I got this thing hangin over my head and I can't seem to shake it. It's like-I don't even know. Al I know is that for the past few days my mental's been all fucked up, you feel me?"
Mookie nodded, though Rich couldn't see. "I feel you. It'll pass."
"I guess."
"You guess? Nigga please. You got all the money you need, no heat from the 'hood, and you bout to marry the flyest broad this side of the river. You ain't got shit to worry about. Now get some sleep for them bags fuck up the pictures and Nikki never forgive you."
Rich laughed aloud at Mookie's soothing humor. He turned to him and pulled him into a hug from a friend and brother. "I love you man. Straight from the heart."
Mookie felt a twinge in his heart. "Same here, fam."

Uptown, neither could his fiancee sleep. Nicole sat cross legged on the floor as Toots flat twisted her hair into design impossible to duplicate. She had grown close to the girl since Rich brought her around, and was now fiercely protective of her. She was practically Nikki's bodyguard.
"I met him when he was sixteen. We was both in school then, as you can see that shit ain't last. Mookie and him been friends since God knows when. But anyway, we used-the three of us-we used to sit in the back of the class and cut the fool like you wouldn't believe. We stayed gettin kicked out."
Nicole covered her mouth. The stories Toots had been telling her all night kept her in stitches. She wasn't sure how much longer she could take it.
Toots saw the effect this was having and smiled. "True story, ma. That nigga is a clown."
Nicole thought for a few mintues as Toots twisted behind her. She waited a long time before speaking. "Is he like that because-well, his life?"
"That's exactly it. He laughs and smiles to hide the pain. There's a lot of shit going on behind them hazel eyes and them pretty dimples. He ain't all fun and games. Rich got a dark side." She was afraid she had scared the girl, so she backed it up quickly with some postivity.
"But you'll never see it. He loves you more than he loves the air he breathes. And that is sayin somethin."
Tha reassureance was all Nikki needed. She fell asleep with her head in Toots lap, so her hair woud stay. Toots watched over her charge until she was sure she was asleep, then nodded off on her own. Tomorrow was a big day, undoubtedly the most important day of either of their lives. Things would change for better or for worse in just twelve short hours.
Toots last thought before drifting off was of Rich.

(c) 2006 Jacki Simmons

Hoe Sit Down Award of the Week

I know it's a little early but being without the computer last week, my schedule got jacked up. So this week's Award is bestowed upon three very deserving contestants. None other than Three Six Mafia. Now as you can recall, I applauded them on their Oscar win and even defended them when other members of their race called them undeserving. But now they have gone too far.
-Three 6 Mafia is pimping their Oscar around LA in order to gain access to clubs. Us hears that the rap group rolled up to Lobby last Thursday only to be told that only four people would be allowed at a table because the club was already crowded. One of the group members pulled the statue out of a paper bag and asked, “This little man count?” Says our source, “Mr. Oscar sat on prime club real-estate, neatly placed on the center of the Mafia’s table, surrounded by gazers observing that glowing complexion in awe.” (source: Us Weekly Online)-
You have got to be kidding me with this shit. I mean really. Remember when I said there was a masive differenc ebetween black people and niggers? I immediately class them as the latter. How B-List-and-dying-to-be-A-list are you when you have to pimp out an Oscar to get into a club? What in the blue fuck is wrong with you? Sigh. Maybe the Academy Awards should go back to being an all white establishment rather than the coon fest it is slowly becoming.

Just Popping In To Say...

RIP Bill Beutel 1930-2006

Right behind Peter Jennings, he was my all time favorite newscaster. For the simple fact that he was so recognizable. He used to be on every night at six and I remember the day he retired a couple of years ago. He will be missed.

Unplugged

Folks, popping in real quick to say my only method of communication for the next few...damn, I don't even know...is the internet. My phone is currently...uh, how do I put this...Well...Not in my possession. Why, you may ask? Well, my happy ass is getting taught a valuable lesson about just why it is that I need to get the hell out and get a degree/job/apartment. I'll explain to those who wish to know in detail. So if you have my home number, call that. If you don't, email me and I'll send it through. As soon as I'm back in the network I'll let ya'll know.

Now Boarding...

I was reading an email from one of the many sites I'm subscribed to when I came across this interesting question: If given the chance, would you move back to Africa? After I emailed him and asked "Africa then or Africa now?" and was given the answer "Africa now" I was able to formulate a thought.
As extremely fun as it would sound to be married to an AIDS carrying man with twelve other wives and ninety children, walk ten miles roundtrip three times a day for fresh water, endure female circumcision, and have a plate in my lip, I think I'm going to have to pass.
I have never as long as I can remember wanted to be anywhere near (like China) Africa. More than one reason. The biggest (and I think most justified) is the unholy amount of civil unrest over there right now. I will be damned if I go anywhere for a relaxing vacation and get a bullet in my ass. I know you all saw Hotel Rwanda when the government had the American citizens jetting out of there like bats out of hell. Not me, pal! I don't think so. I mean, I talk a lot of shit but your perspective on life changes drastically after you've looked down the barrel of a gun. Trust me, I would know.
Second, and just as important as the above, is the climate. I can barely handle the fifty degree wieather we've been having in New York over the past couple of weeks. What makes you think I'm going to do any better on a continent that is this close to being covered completely by sand?
Third, the life I have here is incomparable to the life I would have anywhere else. As sucky as it really is over here, the opportunities we are afforded are nonexistent in other places. Granted, I'm really not doing anything super with my life right now, but still, when I get my shit together, I won't be able to do it anywhere else but here. Could you imagine trying to open a continental restaurant in the middle of the Sahara? Uh...No.
Think about it: running water and plumbing 24/7. Corner stores and bodegas. SHOE STORES. Television. With cable. Movie theaters, hair and nail salons, restaurants, real estate, schools, homes, life without much too worry about as far as a bullet in the ass goes. I mean of course there is the occasional gang shootout or random stray bullet but on the whole, I can get from here to any place in New York without thinking twice about it. I dig that and I wouldn't give it up for all the history in the world.
America blows, mainly becuase of the rich, misguided, stupid and not always white folks running the governement. But I can name nowhere else I'd rather be.

Dirty Little Secrets

The Boarder and my baby brothers were all insisting on watching Rent earlier this evening. Me, I couldn't be more uninterested so I logged on and zoned out with my headphones. I found a new group to jam to.
All American Rejects.
They are freakin awesome. I know I sound like I'm losing my black card over here (don't worry, I got my Jim Jones/Juelz Santana fix all day today), but honestly these guys are really good. Most of what I listen to these days is rock anyway (Aerosmith, The Who, Fall Out Boy) so you might as well take my card. Put that on the list of albums that I will be rotating. These guys have truly got it going on.
Anywho...I came on here to discuss something and I can't remember what it is...


Think...


Think...


Think...

Oh yeah. So I'm working on a bunch of projects desinged to keep my hands and mind busy. Yes, I am seriously writing all the following novels at the same time: um let's see, there's PO, Moni's personal favorite (that one is making very good progress, I'm proud of it. BTW where the heck are ya?), there's The D Word (that's a dark comedy), The Watcher and Front Lines. I am really busy over here! Oh and Unnecessary Roughness. Please be advised if you think I'm puting my ideas out there for someone to jack, you are crazy. I will tell you about them personally if you ask really nicely.
There were a few readers (sorry I don't remember exactly who you were) that asked about the upcoming novel from Travis Fox's camp: Poison Ivy. I sent out a group email a while back. Its release date has been pushed back to November. He is tentatively scheduled to attend the Harlem Book Fair in July in New York, so if you would like to meet him and reserve and autographed copy of the book, be there. For any additional information, please visit his website. http://black-poe.tripod.com
Still navigating through the two hundred emails I received about my absence...I'm back, so stop asking.

(I'm spending the day out tomorrow so don't expect any posts.)

My Bad

That was my fault, fam, on the multiple posts tip. I don't know what was going on last night, but I tried to post and they wouldn't come up so I kept pushing the Post button and like eight Let's Be Real posts came up. I'm like WTF? when I got up to look tonight.

Let's Be Real

OKKK, I know it's been a minute, so keep all your jokes to yourselves, you bums. Nah, you know I love ya'll, but this is the first Let's Be Real post I've been able to spit out in a minute.

This Week's Topic: Three Six Mafia's Academy Award Winning Song, Hard Out Here For A Pimp
When I first heard that this song was nominated for an award, I was way skeptical. But as you all know, that's my personality. I am the Queen of judging things by their covers. I have absolutely no reason to watch the movie. I will say this: the lyrics to the song, when heard corretly, actually make sense.
The movie is about a pimp and his struggle to better himself and become something else. The song is a bleak prospect on the lifestyle of a man who knows nothing better than what he does for a living. He is struggling, trying to make a living in a debasing way. He doesn't like what he does but like he says, it's hard out here for a pimp. I've gotta eat too, you feel me? This is my hustle, this is all I have.
All of a sudden, big time black folks have a problem. They are seriously hatin on the brothas. Why? As we all know, prominent black people that had to "work" to get where they are now are jsut as racist as any member of the Klan. YEAH I SAID IT. They think that because they came to their wealth and infamy in a different way, they are better.
Let's be real: 99.99999% of the Academy is white. So if they didn't want to movie's themse song to get some burn, would they have nominated it? Even Terrance Howard was nominated for his role in the movie. So what is that saying? Don't hate, congratulate.
This is exactly why black folks don't ever get anywhere. They are constantly trying to keep each other down. Even if you don't like what the song is representing or what they're saying, change the channel! Don't listen to it! You are a human being, with sense (I would hope) enough to change the channel when something unfavorable passes by your ears.
Bottom line, let the dudes have their shine. Be proud that after years and years of having all white faces at the Academy's, there is finally some diversity for the hard work that black actors/actresses put in.

Hoe Sit Down Award of the Week

The currently untitled movie is inspired by West's music and will create what is described as a "multi-perspective portrait of the U.S." as seen through the eyes of West, the film's executive producer, and several filmmakers. An estimated 10-12 directors and six writers will create short stories that that will be linked to a central plot while new and old music from West will also be featured throughout the movie.
"This project will synthesize Kanye's vision with a fantastic group of filmmakers and create what will be a one-of-a-kind film experience," Richard Brown, one of the movie's producers, told reporters.

STOP IT!!!! THIS IS CALLED OVEREXPOSURE!!!! YOU ARE TURNING INTO USHER. IF I COULD STAND YOU BEFORE THIS, I CAN'T NOW. JUST LET IT FREAKIN GO. GODDAMN. YOUR ALBUM WENT PLATINUM, WE GET THE FREAKIN POINT. WHY DOES EVERY RAPPER SWEAR TO THE HOLY HIGH HEAVENS THAT HE IS AN ACTOR? JUDAS PRIEST, WE GOT IT , SON.

Oh, and this is the third award presented to Mr. West. I smell record setting...

Update

I recently relaxed my hair for the first time in six months. I always do that, wait a trillion years to get the perm back in. I hate getting my hair done. I like the way it looks but I'm not one for maintenance. I love those natural hairstyles those girls have but I'm not interested in the work that has to be put in for my hair to look like that.
For those of you that were wondering about the Monday morning situation, here is the super condensed version: I spent the day in the courthouse, 11:30am to 6:30 pm. If you know the story, you know. If you don't, you don't, feel me?
Still awaiting word from Melodrama...
My writing has been going fantastic. I am writing three novels at once, to keep my mind of the droll that my life has been for the past week or so. Things have really sucked around here.
On a much lighter note:

***CONGRATULATIONS***

To Moni, one of my most faithful readers. Her loooooooooongtime boyfriend proposed this past weekend. She accepted and they get hitched next May. Yes, my happy ass was informally invited and as long as they have an open bar, I am chillin like a villian. This is going to be so freakin awesome, I can't wait to go shoe shopping.
I just finished reading Sheisty by T.N. Baker. It was very decent. Aside form a few annoying editing errors, it was really good. it was sad though. I think my favorite character was Keisha, because I resemble her, really smart and secure but capable of making some very STUPID. But I also repsected Epiphany's gangsta. She was a hustler and I know all about that. Not the Pussy Power part cuz I'll be damned if I sex a dude for some cash, but about the 'just to get by' allure of some of thee guys. Intimidation can be very sexy; it has its moments. I straight hated Shana. I wish a bitch would sleep with my man behind my back and then call herself my friend. I crack her over the head with a bottle afer I cut his face up with it. It ended leaving me wanting more and I will be going to Two-Fifth to get Still Shiesty as soon as possible.
And I guess that's it.
...Ain't Gold finale coming soon, get your popcorn...
Oh and I decided I will be putting up another short atory after this one entitled Don't Ask, Don't Tell. You'll like it.
Oh, and I'm adapting Ain't Gold into a novel.
And that's it.
Oh and the Boarder is still here.
And no I haven't seen L yet, but I will be giving him a Harlem Beatdown as soon as I see him this weekend, hopefully. I miss the hell out of his skinny ass.
Oh! And before I go for real for real this time, I FINALLY saw American Psycho. Awww man, it was excellent. They took just so much out of the book that they didn't get sidetracked. They added the necessities, subtracted the irrelevance and somehow brought to life scenes that I didn't think you could visualize. It was one of the most perfect films I have ever seen. As a matter of fact, its going in the vault with the Best Films of All Time.
Okazy, I'm really done.

...Ain't Gold (Part Twenty-Eight)

"Okay, people, can I have your attention please? I need the bridesmaids on this side of the room, the maid-of-honor and the mother of the bride. Over there I need the groom, the groomsmen and the best man. Size order please. Very good. Richard, you will stand here, in the front, Jayshawn, there right behind him."
The men lined up as ordered. Mookie was pissed as hell that this woman was shouting out his government like this, but she refused to continue until he told her his real name. She said flat out, "I will not be calling you that so please give me the name you were blessed with at birth." He was going to slug her until Rich gave him the eye and put him back in line. He sucked his teeth and told her his name.
Cynthia Weintraub was the finest wedding planner this side of the Mason-Dixon. She was hella expensive, but worth every cent. Rich hadn't seen the final bill yet, but if he knew Nikki as well as he thought he did, he knew it would be sky-high bank breaker. Rich winked at Chuchi and Lani, who turned to each other, whispered and giggled. They looked back at him and he flashed his dimples, sending them giggling again. He looked down and made sure his fly was closed.
Nicole was to walk forward after the flower girl and ring bearer had been clapped in. According to Cynthia, it was bad luck for the bride to come down the aisle before her wedding but Nicole wasn't one for the superstitions. Nothing was going to go wrong on her special day.
"Alright Jamie, when Ms. Cynthia claps her hands, you go drop the flowers on the floor okay? Then you follow her, Prince. Okay?"
"Yeah Nikki."
"Okay."
"Good."
Just then they heard three claps. "Okay, now!" Jamie smiled back at Nicole and walked forward, dropping pretend flowers from an invisible basket. She was perfect, and made it down the aisle in record time. Jamie was right behind her, holding his imaginary pillow. Nicole smiled as she walked out, alone. Mookie would give her away at the wedding but they did it this way for Cynthia's sake. She was going to have a conniption if the did it any other way.
An hour later, they had it down pat and everything was ready for the ceremony.
"Now, don't forget what we did here today because tomorrow is all planning! There will be no more rehearsals so make sure you have it right! I will see you all Saturday morning, bright and early! Ten o'clock, if you are late, I swear before my godmother I will have a problem." She tipped over to Nicole and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Smooches, darling. Now get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of water and don't be afraid to shed a tear or two. This is your big day. If you get up tomorrow and your eyes are puffy, use cold cucumber slices. And don't forget the water! And your massage is scheduled for eight thirty so be there on time! Be good!"
Nicole laughed as Cynthia tried her damndest to shout out the window as her car drove off. "Oh, and no smoking! No cigarettes, you hear me? Water! Don't forget darling, think lovely, be lovely! Toodles!"
Rich laughed with her. "Little neurotic, you think?"
Nicole stood on her tip toes and kissed him. "Yeah, but she's worth it. Wait 'til you see my gown."
He kissed her back on the tip of her nose. "Mm, I wanna see you out of it."
"You are so nasty!"
"You know it." Against Cynthia's stern warning, Rich reached down in his pants pocket and got a cigarette. He lit it and blew the smoke outwards, looking at the sky and frowning.
"What's wrong?"
He looked for a few more seconds, then passed her the cigarette. "Hmm. Nothing. Ready to eat?"
"Yeah."
"Yo!"
Rich turned and saw Mookie jogging down the church steps towards them. "Yo, son, I gotta check my baby moms, she trippin bout somethin, so let me catch you later."
They locked palms. "Aight, kid. Good looks for today man."
"You know you my fam, so I can't be catchin a case on a bitch, feel me? Nikki, be good." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"Alright baby. Don't forget, be at the house tomorrow so you can get your tux. You guys are driving to the church together."
Mookie shouted over his shoulder as he walked to his car. "I got you ma. Don't worry, I be there." He got in his car and slammed the door, turning up the Jim Jones as loud as it would go. He glanced at the happy couple on the church steps. I be there with bells on, cuz.

"You do want kids, don't you? Nikki's my eldset, she gotta bless me with some grandbabies."
"I do want kids. Just not now. Someday."
"When is someday? And how old are you anyway?"
"Twenty-five, going on twenty-six. With all due respect Mrs. Baisden, I want to be selfish. I want Nikki to myself for a little while."
Cora and Rich sat in her kitchen drinking tea, looking at old photo albums. Nicole took Lani out to eat, hoping the two of them could warm up to each other. They had spoken after their first tiff and they seemed to be getting along better. Nicole was glad: it wouldn't sit well with her if her man and mother, two of her most important loved ones, couldn't get along with each other.
Cora chuckled. "That's fine with me baby. Take your time. Get to know ech other better. Then have all the babies you can make."
Rich smiled. Now that they had a chance to sit together and talk, he could see another side of her. The woman loved her child and wanted to protect her as long as she could. He reached out and touched her hand.
"I love Nicole. With everything in me. I promise you, I swear to you I won't ever let anything happen to her. She's ours and I am going to make sure she sticks around for a long, long time."
Cora leaned over and hugged her future son-in-law.

2006 (c) Jacki Simmons

Who's That Girl

Ok, I'm back. I haven't not posted from a lack of remembering, but for the simple fact that my internet just got hooked back up. Yeah, the cats were running amock again and ran through the house. They tripped over the cord (which is hooked up the by the dumbest man since God created the Bush family) and snatched it out of the wall. So please sit back and enjoy the trillion posts I have to put up.

Let Me See Ya Nod Ya Head

A frequent reader has brought it to my attention that I have turned them on to a lot of music using my favorite site on the web. You are very welcome.
I have a new boyfriend, folks...His name is Ne-Yo. You can tell Trey Songz and Jaheim I'm cheating on them later. Ne-Yo is the newest member of the DefJam family. Handpicked by Jiggaman himself. Anywho, Jay found himself a winner in Ne-Yo. (You know, So Sick and Stay With Me? Yeah that's him.)
I decided I would listen to the album and Lord knows I'm glad I did. Will be buying it the first chance I get. Before I get off track, I will be posting the albums I'm listening to on the sidebar. Right there under the Bush Countdown Clock, in case you're wondering. Just click and it will take you directly to the album.
***Note: You must have Windows Media Player in order to play the albums. If you don't...Well how old is your computer?
What to expect in the coming weeks?
Goapele
Chris Brown
Sean Paul
Natasha Bedingfield
Fall Out Boy

Can You Hear Me Now? Good

So I already told ya'll I was downloading ringtoneson my phone last week.
Let me tell ya, it was hella fun. I put four on there, one for every category of caller. For my Unknown's, it's Young Jeezy's Go Crazy. I love that song. Its the only video he did with any originality and I wish it had been a full length. I love the snow shit in the background.
My friends got Chris Brown's Yo (Excuse Me). Ya'll already know how I feel about that whole album. I'm going to play it as soon as this Goapele joint goes off. (If you don't know about Goapele, take yourself on over to www.musixzone.com and get acquainted. You will not regret it.)
Yes, L does have his own ringtone. It's Baby Bash's Shorty Doo Wop, and when I call him, mine is Honey Dip off the Jim Jones. Do I feel loved? Yes I do. :) If I could find it, I would put it on my phone. But I can't, so I didn't. He's got Nextel (gag me with a fork) and I've got Cingular so everything he has I don't have.
Sidebar: I love Baby Bash. The first song I heard by him was this joint with hma nd Frankie J called Suga Suga. Remember that? From like three summers ago? Well, that's when I started liking him.
The Family ringtone is Me and My B*tch by Jaheim. DO NOT ask. I have no idea and I can't tell you why.
I will tell you this: them ringtones are addictive. And expensive. I'm other putting shit on a bill I can't pay, meaning my ass will probably be MIA by the end of the month unless I take my ass to the corner and make some change. (J/K) They're like three dollars a pop, plus whatever amount your service kncoks on there for purchase. I'm scared to see next month's bill.

Shoutout to the newest member of the Jacki Simmons Experience, Inquisitive, of C2C fame. Hi Quisi. :)

Stella Lunar

I was reading an MSN update today informing folks that they've found water on the Moon. I could care less, I've got all the Dasani I can drink right here. But after further investigation I realized something I had not ever thought about in life.
Our Moon has no name.
Like seriously. Mercury and Venus have no moons, while Jupiter has sixteen. All of which have names. (My personal favorite is one of Uranus' 21 moons, Juliet. That's my middle name.) I have to be honest; I never thought of this before. Why doesn't our moon have a name?
I mean lets be real here. Someone had to sit down and think of twenty-one different names for all of Uranus' moons, sixteen for Jupiter, eighteen for Saturn, and all the others and they couldn't give us one? The only planet in the solar system that actually matters has no name for its moon? Even freaking Pluto, quite possibly the most irrelevant planet (as far as distance is concerned) has names for its three moons, Charon, S/2005 P1 and S/2005 P2. (Although the final two efforts sound more like rejects from the Star Wars epics.)
My brother sugegsted that the name of the Moon is in fact The Moon. I told him that was its title. We say the Moon like people say the King, the President, the General. I wonder if the other planets talk about Earth behind her back, laughing at our nameless heavenly phenom? We can't even pretend like there's a name there. Can we jack either the Greek or Latin names and pass them off as our own? (Selene and Luna, respectively). Or are we forced to look at the sky each day and say look at the full Moon? I would love to say "look how full Selene looks tonight," or "Honey, have you seen how Luna glows over those trees?"
This is going to nag me until they make a formal announcement.

Freestyle

As I think about you,
the words spill off my lips
the ink flows from my pen
I cannot get my thoughts together
again
It happens everytime I try
I try to make a complete thought
of you
What's wrong?
Cuz this ain't me
This isn't my usual
Not my style
I've never been at a loss for
words
Then I met you
and every word
every sentence
Must be sought out
Nothing ever on the tip of my tongue
You make me lose my
breath
I can't keep up
I just can't keep
up
I'm trying
trying so hard
To pretend like you haven't grabbed
My attention
But it's so hard
when all words are taken
away
from me
I can reach out
and there they are
The phrases I use to describe
just how fine you are to me
But as soon as I touch them they
scatter
in a million different directions
just like my thoughts
You see?
All my efforts disappear
so
fleetingly
I wanted this to rhyme
when I began it
As you can see
that didn't happen
Because as soon as I had all my thoughts together
I thought of you
again

2006 (c) Jacki Simmons

Heavy Rotation

Time for the March edition of HR. I have pretty much the same albums as last month's, so uhh, don't look for much variation.
Chris Brown- I am feeling the hell out of this kid. I have NO idea why. He's like twelve, but he is too cute, his lil skinny ass. I was jamming to some "Yo!" all day today. I even put it on my phone. Whenever a friend calls, I get the "Yo! I don't know your name, but excuse me miss, I saw you from across the room..." Yeah, it's critical. I am too damn old to be diggin this kid...
Trey Songz- Yes, I am still bumpin this album like it's going out of style. I can't get it out of my head! It's really a problem.
Jim Jones- Say something about him and get slapped. Go ahead. Go on. ...I'm sorry, but I'm Jonesin. :)
Dru Hill Greatest Hits- I love Greatest Hits albums because they cut straight to the chase. If Ashanti would come out with one, she could spare me the pain and boredom of listening to her whole album. All she has is those sucky remixes. If I'm wrong, hit me up and mail me a copy please.
Anywho, this is L's favorite album, he sings You Are Everything to me on the phone, so you know a sista is trippin. I should really stop talking about him shouldn't I? Hmm...Got me sounding all dickwhipped over here...NOT cool. I need to get my gangsta back...

Making Moves

I sent off my manuscript the other day. Gasp! Yes, I know. Tell me why I went over that bitch with a fine toothed comb and as soon as I printed it, I found about a thousand typos? I was pissed. So far, I've received three good reviews. These are from people I trust mind you, Moni, Dre and Trish aka GreeneyedRican.
***Shameless Promotion: Ya'll don't know her but she's this dope ass poet/writer I met over at C2C. Pick up her poetry book, Green Eyes Open, at http://iuniverse.com. Trust me, you will not regret it. Her shit is truth. Homegirl is a problem.***
My mama was mad I didn't let her read it. For some strange reason, I feel funny having her read my stuff. I don't know why. It's like the day your mother finds out your not a virgin anymore. It doesn't make sense to ya'll, but it makes sense to me. It's a part of you she doesn't know about suddenly exposed. I get to cuss when I write, be free, put down what I want to put down. And I do not want my mama knowing that side of me. Makes sense now?
I ended up going to the Nets game the other day...Saturday I think it was. No wait, it-yeah Saturday. Nets won, 105-100. It was a decent ass game. They played the Raptors, who really had some hella good defense going on there. I'm going to have to watch Nets games more often. Let me say this, ya boy Jason Kidd does not leave a man down. I watched him run up the court to make a shot, turn back and pick one of his teammates off the floor. That's what the hell I'm talkin bout! Take a page from that book, Kobe!
I got home from the game, ate a few onion rings and went right back out. This nigga L had me out ALL freakin night. I was on the phone with Moni when I met up with him, so that
is the last person I spoke to that night. I got home sometime round nine the next day. It was my sendoff party, feel me? My ass is going back to school and hopefully work and I will have my hands full if I get this book accpeted. No, my hopes are not up. You know me by now.
Sidebar: Why am I running this Jim Jones album like there is no tomorrow? I've been playing it for like three weeks now, straight. What's really hood? Baby girl, you tryna be down with the DipSet...
In Ain't Gold news, there are only three posts left. I repeat, there are only three posts remaining until the finale. I am not giving anything away, I am not dropping hints, none of that. You will just have to wait and see.
Poll: Am I going to the Harlem Book Fair? I truly need an incentive.

L' Is Gone

When we were introduced
by your girl Ruth
I knew that you got down
Skin caramel complexion
Lips chocolate brown
I'm wondering now
Would you get huff for me
And let me stuff your philly blunt with
This black sensi
Most definitely we can continuously
Get high like the clouds that watch the city
Guff till we'd go blind like my man Stevie
Til the whites of her eyes are bloodshot glossy
Then we'll fall fast asleep
And when we wake up we can pick up where we
L-E-F-T
See I don't mind if you don't
Cause see I'm like if you're with it then it's on
So see me tonight
All the while I'm hoping that she would inhale
So I could be like Michael Jackson and enjoy myself
Cause what I want to do is make a tuna melt
Should roll up in the sheets and let me spark that L

What we going to do when the L is gone
Should we just roll some more
So we can flow some more?
Or maybe I should just take you home
And make you fiend for me
Like a love jones

It was evident
that you were hesitant
when we did it
You rolled it, I lit it, we hit it
Instantly you effected my state of being to
cloud nine
I can tell that the hydro got you
by the way your eyes were half closed and mine too
Lord knows if we would have rolled another stogie
You would've been holding like En Vogue
I knew that you laced it
Yes indeed
Cause I can tell when I tasted it
Yes indeed
Got me breaking in sweats
Feeling like something crawling all over my neck
You got me drawn
Yes indeed
I can't believe that you got this type of effect on me
It seems that I've been
fiending for you and you're
fiending for me
For that high that we both need
Tell me what

What we going to do when the L is gone
Should we just roll some more
So we can flow some more?
Or maybe I should just take you home
And make you fiend for me
Like a love jones
What we gonna do when the L is gone?
What we gonna do when the L is gone?

-Musiq Soulchild, Aijuswanaseing


Story of my life, lol

...Ain't Gold (Part Twenty-Seven)

Nicole, gently as she could, lifted the diamond tiara out of its place in the velvet box. The feminine population of the room oohed and ahhed, while the men conversed over their heads about when and where they were going to smoke the weed Rich had brought along. Chuchi had thrown them an impromptu wedding shower since there wasn't much else going on. The tiara was a gift from Rich, like most of everything in the room.
Toots narrowed her eyes to slits as she watched Cookie enter the room and slink over to her. She was in no mood to see her, as their last meet had not gone well.
"What's good, baby sis?" Cookie asked. "Ya'll ain't send me no invite. I'm hurt."
Toots didn't let her guard down. Her sister was as slick now as she had been seven years ago. "You don't even know her."
"So? You my sister, Rich my brother, it's all good. Where is the broad anyway?" Cookie leaned against the bar, taking in the scene. She knew exactly where Nicole was and exactly what she looked like but she couldn't let that on. Not yet.
"Over there." Toots nodded her head in Nikki's direction. Cookie followed her eyes and sized the girl up. She aight. She ain't me, but she aight, she thought. Presently, Rich and his entourage headed in their direction. Cookie half smiled and turned around, motioning for a drink from the bartender. He served her and she sipped the burning liquid as she heard Toots and Rich conversing. He doesn't even fucking know I'm standing here. Bastard.
She felt a hand in her back. "What the hell are you doing here?" Cookie turned right into Rich's arms.
"Baby boy! I was just telling baby sis here how hurt my feelings are. Ya'll forgot about Cooks?"
"Ain't nobody forget about you," Mookie said from behind Rich. His eyes screamed the same question Rich's had just asked. Cookie winked at him.
"Word," Rich agreed. "How could we?"
Cookie leaned in close, taking in his smell. She closed her eyes and pulled him next to her. "You tell her about me yet?"
"No. And I don't plan to."
"That's fucked up, fam. Real fucked up."
Rich frowned and pulled away from her. He straightened his jacket before turning on his heel, preparing to leave. "I've moved on, Cookie. I suggest you do the same." Their eyes lingered for just a second before he walked away, the crew directly behind him. Mookie silently warned her before following.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Toots asked, smacking Cookie in the arm.
"Ow, bitch," she snarled. "He fucked me over anmd expects me to let it go like that. I ain't gonna let it go."
"So what you gonna do about it? It's Rich. Once he's done with you, he's done. Can't nothing stop him.
Yeah, we'll see. I got a trick for his ass.

Rich looked around the apartment, already bored. He didn't want to be here, but he promised he would come and he made good on it. He could count a hundred other palces he would rather be but Nicole was adamant about him meeting her mother, so he was forced to oblige.
Cora placed a glass of iced tea in front of him. He thanked her and took a sip. Not bad, he thought. And homemade. Cora sat down across the table and folded her hands. Lani joined them a few minutes later, face in an Essence magazine.
There was over five minutes of uncomfortable silence before anyone could figure out what to say. Rich adjusted his slacks more than once, taking notice that Cora had neither stopped staring nor blinked the whole time.
"So Rich, did your sister have the baby yet?"
"Yeah, she did, matter of fact."
"For real? Boy or girl?"
"Girl. Six pounds, seven ounces."
"Aww. What did she name her?"
"Janet Marie."
"That's pretty. Tell her I said hi."
"I will."
Silence.
More silence.
Even more silence.
And then...
"Oh-kay, since we're all here, let's say something, huh?" Lani asked, looking around.
"I already said what I had to say," Cora answered.
"And what was that?" Rich inquired.
Cora was taken aback. She hadn't expected him to say anything to her. "Nicole can fill you in." He looked over at her.
"What?" Nikki asked.
"She said fill me in."
"Ma! Richard, it was nothing."
"I said that the boy don't care about you but for what he can get from you and I know you can do better."
Rich didn't bother weighing his words before he spoke. "With all due respect, Mrs-"
"Cora."
"Mrs. Cora, number one, ma'am, I'm a grown ass man. I haven't been a boy for a long time. Number two, I do care about Nicole, more than myself. I love her. Very much. Number three, maybe she can do better, but if doing better means looking for someone that will love her as much if not more than I do, I think she'll be hard pressed to find him."
Lani's face was the perfect picture of shock as she hid her face behind the Essence.
Cora narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. "You think you're something special, don't you? Let me tell you something. My child worked hard to get where she is now. She is a college graduate. Any and everything she wants she can get for herself. She does not need you for that."
"You're very right. She does get whatever she wants." Rich stood up . "And I'm so sorry that it's killing you that she wants me." He looked down. "Alanis, it was lovely to see you again, kiddo. Mrs. Cora, thanks for the tea." He left without another word.
Rich was on his third cigarette when Nicole opened her door and got in. He thought she was going to slap him, or curse him out, so he braced his face and ears for a good lashing. You could just imagine his surprise when she leaned over the seat and wrapped her arms around him, planting a big wet one on his lips. When she pulled her tonuge out of his mouth and sat back, breathless, Rich wiped his face and looked at her.
"What was that for?"
"No one - and I do mean no one - has ever been to shut that woman up. I have never witnessed someone shut my mother down like that. You," she pointed at him, "You are my God."
Rich flashed his dimples in a wide grin as he pulled away from the curb.

2006 (c) Jacki Simmons
All rights reserved.

Just Popping In To Say...

RIP Gordon Parks 1912-2006

Gordon Parks, who captured the struggles and triumphs of black America as a photographer for Life magazine and then became Hollywood's first major black director with "The Learning Tree" and the hit "Shaft," died Tuesday, a family member said. He was 93.

Just Popping In To Say...

RIP Dana Reeve 1962-2006
In August, less than a year after her husband's death, Dana Reeve -- a lifelong nonsmoker -- announced she had cancer. She died Monday night. As you recall, Christopher Reeve died in October 2004 at age 52 after falling into a coma. He had been paralyzed since a horseback riding accident in 1995.

"I Would Like To Thank The Academy"

I never thought I would ever actually hear those words, and then Reese Witherspoon delivered, right on time.
She won her first Oscar Sunday night, for her portrayal of June Carter Cash in Walk The Line. She starred opposite Joaquin Phoenix, who was nominated, but did not win. Why? Because just like host Jon Stewart said, it was Ray with white people.
The show was actually pretty decent this year. I fell out when I realized the band had begun the music before the actors/actresses even began their speeches. What is funnier than that?
My favorite movie last year, Crash, got its just due with the Best Movie Oscar. YES, they deserved it. Had Brokeback Mountain won, I swear on everything I love, I would excommunicate Hollywood from my DVD cabinet. The same for King Kong. YAWN. Come on. I know I am not the only person who peeped the heavy racial undertones in that movie. Big black man terrorizes innocent white folk, falls in love with the pure innocent white broad...Come on! Stop insulting my intelligence!
How in the hell did Hilary Swank go from the best dressed woman ever at the Oscar's to last month's prom dress? Is the divorce going that bad? And Charlize. Darling. I love you with a passion but whoever suggested that dress ought to be shot. Several times. In the face. And you, Michelle Williams. You haven't looked good since Dawson's Creek. You didn't look good then either, come to think about it. Flaming red and yellow only looks good in a fire, honey. Jessica Alba. You already know what I'm going to say. I'll give you a five second head start before I draw my weapons.
My humble opinion, Uma Thurman's was the dress to beat this year. Nicole Kidman's looked slightly on the wedding gown side for me...But she still looked flawless. Jennifer Garner has mommy boobs! *Laughing* She was so cute in her gown. But she forgot to pick it up at the front and had to use Alias-like tactics to keep from busting her ass. Don't worry girl, eighth grade graduation, almost happened to me too.
Am I the only person that thought Luda's light skinneded ass looked damn good? Or that there was a record number of black people in the audience? Shocking...
Am I the only person that can't stand Keira Knightley's face? Am I? Really?
Was there a memo they sent out that I missed? Dear Actors, please replace the usual flower in your lapel with a piece of gawdy, hand-me-down jewelry.
I thought it would have been more amusing had Sandra Bullock fallen on her approach like she did in Miss Congeniality. I think that would have been hella funny.
Everybody's favorite house nigger, Terence Howard, was nominated for his role in Hustle and Flow, a film I simply cannot bring myself to watch, therefore I will not comment on it. Which brings me to...
*GREAT MOMENTS IN HIP HOP*
Three Six Mafia, quite possibly the corniest dudes in hip hop, (IMO) won an Oscar for their song Hard Out Here For A Pimp, the theme from the aforementioned Hustle and Flow. I had to admit, I was quite proud of them as they bumrushed the stage and scared the white out of the audience. I know ya'll peeped my girl Queen Latifah about to get gully, then she remembered that was a borrowed gown and the desinger would have her ass if she f*cked it up. She was throwing out pounds and shit, I was like uh, Queen, this is still the Oscar's, boo. LOL